peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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