i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
i think my cat just said my name.
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