I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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