I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
that is very illegal...i love you.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize