Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
