I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
