My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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