Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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