Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
