it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
