Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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