apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
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