I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Randomize
