haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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