this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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