Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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