I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
No subtext here. People are naked.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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