I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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