his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
