I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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