Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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