He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fling myself into the sun
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Come on in and take your pants off
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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