we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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