I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
