If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
