Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
