yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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