I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
soo... how was my night?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize