why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
