i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
