I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She swung at the pinata with crutches
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
