I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
