doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
