my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize