he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Success! We fucked roommates!
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