Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
