my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize