kristin has been a bad kristin
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
