i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
she smelled like a LAN party
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
