I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
