It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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