I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize