but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
