Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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