Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
My pussy is not your playground.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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