that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
