what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
