Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
