I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize