hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You took a bar mat shot.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
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How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
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Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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