is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You have to summon your inner elephant
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
