She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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