I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
