im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
