just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
