How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
