how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
