I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
too bad you live with your parents still
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
