and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
