I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
