Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
