is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
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