even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
