Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
