I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
