Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
