never play flip cup with pint glasses
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
The ass gains better be worth it
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