Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
