Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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